Single Reviews: 26th February, 2001
Cake - Short skirt/Long jacket (Columbia)
Ordinarily I love cake. Just ask anyone who knows me. Swiss roll, Jamaican ginger cake, even birthday cake - I love them all. This musical "cake" however leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth due to its hackneyed beats and half-hearted vocals. Sounds like Beck or Baz Luhrmann and is therefore just as bad as you would expect. Don't buy this.
Hefner - Alan Bean (Too Pure)
The best thing about this single is its packaging. Hee hee! Press the button and the CD pops out! Pity the song itself sounds like background music for The Clangers. Good bass though. Not good enough to save this single from hitting the bottom of my bin however. Hee hee! Press that button!
Lee Scratch Perry - Jazzy Lady (Ariwa Music)
Now this is more like it. Great Caribbean feel despite the appalling lyrics. "Sweet lady, please don't die!" - eh?! Still great though, especially if you like Bob Marley or even UB40. Hey, I hate both of them and I still think this is genius! And I probably mean it.
Hi-Tek, featuring Jonell - Round & Round (Rawkus)
Four seconds of this dull urban hip-hop and I'm bored. This really isn't for me and the only reason it's still playing is because I haven't finished typing this yet. Rest assured that, as soon as I have finished, I will destroy the evidence that this travesty ever blackened my CD player. Now excuse me a minute?
The Bush, The Tree and Me - [Sometimes] You Do That (Epic)
Godammit! I very nearly didn't get this thing out of its sleeve. Frankly it would have been a mercy if the thing had remained stuck. Those of you who remember Lene Marlin will love this as will that person who appreciated Alanis Morrisette's new direction. You know who you are! As for me, I'm going to burn this sugary garbage. Not in a good mood today, am I?
The Bouncing Souls - Gone (Epitaph)
Hmm, there's that riff. And there's that vocal. Oh yeah and there's the "explosive" chorus. Pity they're the same ones that Green Day and their bastard offspring have been milking for god knows how long. It's an even greater pity that this kind of crap comes from the greatness of the Clash. Get their greatest hits instead. I wouldn't spit on this if it was on fire, which it might well be soon.
Whitmore - 260 (Moon)
I hate Ska. Ska is punk with everything that makes it good taken out. No anger, no revolutionary thought, no intensity, no integrity, in fact none of Kurt Angle's three "I's". All they give back are some worthless horns. This is ska. End review.
Alfie - You Make No Bones (Twisted Nerve)
This has a vaguely Mid-Western feel to it, pretty pedestrian and lazy porch-sitting music. Good luck saying awake through this. Alfie just aren't making enough of an effort to get your attention. I predict they disappear from the music scene without trace. No, I hope they do.
PPK - ResuRection (Perfecto)
I love dance singles. Since they, and all the various remixes they come with, all sound the same to me, I wonder if I should have just one review to wheel out for each one I get. Nah, that would be unprofessional, unlike this track. Which is the nicest and most insightful thing I can say about it. Ah fuck it, its shit.
Konkrete - Law Unto Myself (Perfecto)
See above. Except this one has a truly awful M-People type vocal and some of the worst keyboards I've ever heard. And I've been to church musicals. Quite possibly the nadir of human expression, as long as Mark Morrison never returns again.
Super Furry Animals - Rings Around The World (Epic)
This is great, playful stuff. It's quite clear that the band is taking the piss, but this is still a hugely entertaining song. Strong bass lines show the band's techno roots, while the sparseness of the song makes evident their history in the punk scene. A fantastic waste of major label money, for which I congratulate them.
Check out some older singles.